self-doubt

Time Tracking For Success.

08 07 2016

So, you might remember, I learned a little lesson a few weeks back.  I had a lightbulb moment and set new intentions.  (You can read the post here)

Yep, well, old habits die hard it would seem.

know my priorities.  Being the avid goal-setter I am, I know what tasks I should be doing to ‘move the needle’ and get me closer to them.  But knowing them and doing them are totally different.  I know to achieve the toned tummy I’m going to need to build the muscle, almost daily.  Do I do it?  Nope.

I’d like to say my new intentions slipped because of some worthy cause but, the truth is, I know it was a few bad habits to blame.  The biggest of all is procrastination. 

John C Maxwell, known as one of the greatest thought leaders in management, said “the secret of success comes down to your daily agenda.”  He believed if he were to spend 24 hours with someone, following them through their typical day, he’d be able to predict where their life was headed.    He says:

“You’ll never change your life until you change something you do daily.”

(Abs, we’re on.)

So, with that in mind, it’s time for a bit of a reality check.  If, like me, you get to the end of a day and wonder exactly what you did with your time, then this is for you.  If you’re making little (or no) progress in achieving something that’s been on your goal list forever, this is for you.  Or, if you know things are just out of balance and you’re ready to make a change, this is for you.

It’s so simple to do, but so powerful.

Record and Review.

To see where your time is going, you’re going to have to get it down on paper (or digitally, if that’s your thing).  Don’t rely on your memory.  Track it.

I’ve created a tracking tool you can download here.  The magic is in ‘coding’ your tasks into priorities.  It will give you a great picture over 24 hours (just like Sir Maxwell suggested).  My suggestion is to do it for a week to get a great record of ‘normal life’.

But… that’s ‘normal life’.  In your normal life are you achieving what your heart desires?  Are you living the life you want to?  What kind of future are your daily habits creating?

I find this is a powerful first step in making a change.  You need to know where you are, what your starting point is.  Then you’re so much clearer on what needs to change to start shifting you towards a new direction.

Download the Time Tracker For Success cheat sheet here.  And I’d love to see your results – what did you learn after day one?

read more

3 Ways To Deal With Changes & Life Transitions: Coaching Call

07 14 2016

The ‘average Mo’ has about 10-20 transitions in their lifetime.  I reckon I’ve had my fair share in the past five years alone!  How about you?

I see transitions as those BIG things – marriage, moving home, babies, career changes – as well as those smaller internal shifts which can have just as much impact.  Really, it’s a matter of perspective – whatever feels like a big deal to you IS a big deal.  

This coaching ‘hangout’ was designed to give you some reassurance that you’re NOT losing your marbles – there is a science to coping with change.  I also share some tips and tools to help you as you ride the rollercoaster!

You can watch the recording of the first Cocktail Hour coaching call below.  

Think back to times of change for you: how did you negotiate the change?  Share your tips to help someone else!

NB: The Cocktail Hour will be a monthly get-together.  Submit your question for next month: hello@emmagwillim.com

read more

Well THAT was embarrassing. Did you see it?

06 19 2016

Let me just acknowledge the elephant in the room.  I disappeared for a while.

Maybe I owe you a little explanation.  I’ll come to that in a moment…

The reason for sharing with you is I believe I can shed some light on what NOT to do if this story is something you can relate to.

I’ll also share what happened when I took the leap – and it totally back-fired!  

So, back to the point, I disappeared.  I checked out for a bit.

If truth be told… I was hiding away from you guys.  You see, my passion is helping people to be their best selves, helping them to live their sparkle and yet, rewind a year, and I felt so far from that myself.

I felt a fraud.  I felt I needed to be the finished product to be able to help you.  I thought I needed to go away and fix parts of my life first.  It’s the perfectionist in me – I wanted to do this thing right.  If I was to help you then surely I’d need to be an expert in, and perfect in, all areas.

Writing this to you now I realise how ridiculous it sounds.  Yet still a part of me whispers “who am I to be able to help anyone else when there’s still things I’m working on?”  Old habits die hard, as they say.

But striving for utopia is perfectionism on over-drive.  It’s me procrastinating on the one thing I feel really called to do – to help, to write, to show up in ways that help you create your best life.

So, what not to do?

Don’t wait for the perfect time. There never is one.

Don’t wait for the perfect opportunity to show up.  It won’t.

Don’t wait to feel like you’re ready/perfect. You won’t – nothing changes unless YOU change.

What’s standing between you and what you want?

I’ve spent the best part of my lifetime hiding and actively avoiding attention.  But deep down I know that standing between me and what I want (helping people on a bigger scale), I need to come out of hiding and push my comfort zone

So this week I decided to be brave.  I love to write to you but I know sometimes I hide behind the written word. Speaking up is my challenge.  I made a commitment to my awesome coach to “show my face”.  I gave my word that I’d share on Facebook Live.

This was majorly uncomfortable.  By showing up on Facebook Live I had to do the opposite of my default attention-avoidance, as if I was saying “look at me, I’m here and I have something to say.”  That is hugely out of my comfort zone.  It’s LIVE people – there’s zero room for perfectionism.

My insecurities were laid bare – insecure in the value of what I had to say, how I was saying it, how I was looking while saying it.  To me, I was raising my head over the parapet and opening myself up to being judged.  (That’s not to say that’s what I expected of the gorgeous peeps who might see it but they were the warning bells clanging by that ‘chimp brain’ of mine that’s trying to protect me.)

And I can’t tell you how (embarrassingly) long my finger hovered over the scary “Go Live” button.

BUT THEN… The utopia came to mind.  The life I imagine and the ‘me’ in it tapped me on the shoulder and, instead, I asked: “What would that Emma do?”  So, I pressed the button and I did it.

(Did you see?  It was a disaster.  The sound did not work!!!  I  chatted to myself for 8 minutes! EMBARRASSING. But I did it and I left it up there as proof, imperfect as it is!)

And here’s the lesson I’ve learned that I want to share.

I’ve come to learn that success is in the little victories.  I’d been focusing on the end game – striving for that finish line of success before I can help.

What’s courage anyway?  To me it’s letting your want/need for something be just a fraction bigger than your fear.  It’s a succession of moments like that, each moment getting you that little bit closer to your desired you and desired destination.

So, I ask again.  What stands between you and what you want? And what can you do to have courage (that’s just a tiny bit bigger than your fear) for one bold moment this week?

read more

The Love Letter... Totally Revealing

06 14 2016

Here it is.  The love letter.  Heart on sleeve, holding breath…

Dear Reader

You are truly special.  I know that to be true.  You have a unique magic inside of you, a sparkle that is just yours – no other person in the world has exactly the same elixir of talents and experience and personality and gifts as you.  You are one of a kind.  And that special combination has something to offer everybody else.  When you shine your unique sparkle, others can feel it.  Other people want to be around it.  You inspire other people to shine bright too.  Accept it.  Claim it.  Show it off!!  It’s been gifted to you for a reason.  Don’t let it grow dim.  Dust it off.  Make today the day that shining becomes your role – it’s the kindest thing that you can do for you and everyone that knows and loves you.

From Me

Read it.  Read it again and feel it.

I feel a tad uncomfortable wearing my heart on my sleeve but this is what I believe for you.  It’s my belief that every, single person has something special to share and I feel that, in my heart, I want to help people to hear it and come to feel it…. And ultimately to live it. And here’s the best part – you role model the way for other people (especially the little people).

The reason I’m uncomfortable?  I fear I may sound … rose-tinted.

But I know for any number of people that think maybe it’s a little idealistic, there may be one other person that needs to hear this and remember it.  Because deep down you know this, right?  You are my people.

When you were a little girl you may have been told you were special and precious.  Maybe you weren’t told that but, whether you heard it or not, it was true nonetheless.  And, it’s still true now you’re a grown-up.  It never stops being true.  It’s just sometimes we forget it…. Or don’t let ourselves believe it.  It feels uncomfortable to truly be you.  

(And here we come back full circle to me feeling jittery sharing this).

But I’m feeling the fear and writing it anyway.  My reason is I feel I can help.  I’ve been unofficially learning for almost twenty years now, and have officially equipped myself with training and skills over the past 5 years to move people from fuzziness and overwhelm to clarity and direction so that they can shine.

Now I’m now opening up a limited number of spots for the summer for my Luxe Intensive sessions – these are private, 1:1 coaching days to help you to get clarity of your unique value, gifts and inner sparkleso that you can de-clutter, re-focus and consciously design your future.

Here’s how it works:

Within the Luxe Intensive programme you will get:

  • Private 1:1 coaching and my signature treatment tailor-made to suit your personal needs and requirements.
  • A preparation pack in advance of the Luxe Intensive to elicit ‘spotlight’ areas for our session.
  • A personalized feedback report to summarise your Luxe Intensive session.
  • A 45-minute ‘Completion Call’ within one month of the Luxe Intensive session to create accountability, review and future focus.

What we’ll cover:

Our time is 100% focused on you.  You will get access to my personal toolkit and the session will be uniquely tailored to you and your transformation.  It can include:
Getting absolute clarity on what you really want.

Understanding your unique value, your gifts and how to use your inner sparkle to design life on your terms.

Decluttering the doubts, fears and beliefs that are keeping you stuck.

Crafting an inspired action plan.

Defining your signature style and unlocking your true identity.

Your investment:

This complete package is £250.

What you can expect:

You’ll have a ‘temperature check’ of how things are working for you right now.  You’ll get clear on the things creating ‘mental clutter’ in your life, as well as the patterns that have been holding you back.  You’ll craft a clear vision and blueprint for your future, the key ingredient for designing a life on your terms.  You’ll create an action plan so you begin creating your future in a way that feels authentic and achievable, and have a rhythm for continuing this once our work is finished.  You’ll feel energized and confident about the future.  You’ll have fun!

The lowdown:

I am offering a limited number of spaces throughout the summer.  If you feel this is a YES for you, click HERE to book your complimentary call.

 

p.s. I’ll be sharing a bit more about this whole thing via Facebook Live this week.  Make sure you’re in the group to take part – I’ll be doing a Q&A as part of this.  

 

read more

What More Do You Want? 5 Tips For The Girl Who Has It "All"

06 09 2016

Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle” – Plato

Appearances can be deceptive.  What looks glossy on the outside might be very different when you take a closer look.

Social media has got to be a prime example of this.  Someone’s newsfeed is a highlights reel of their life but maybe not the truest reflection.  You might be like me – posting pictures of the magical moments with your kiddiwinks when everyone is fed, happy and absorbed in play…. You’ll find the meltdowns and dinner-time battles on the virtual-cutting-room floor! 

Just think for a moment: maybe your life looks picture perfect to someone else?

How does that make you feel?  If you’re content and at a point of bliss, you’re likely to feel proud and grateful.  Positive.

If, on the other hand, you know that what your life looks like isn’t true of what it feels like, then you may feel a bit of discomfort.  Guilty?  A bit of a fraud?

Life can look good but you might still be craving something more.  And that’s ok.  It’s just a whisper from your intuition that is nudging you to explore it.  It’s like an itch you need to scratch.

You can have what many people desire and still want more.  Not in a greedy way, but in a way that means a part of you is looking to express itself, or to be more fulfilled in some way.

Feeling guilty about that or trying to ignore it isn’t the answer.  It’s there and it’s simply a message to do something about it. 

So, how can you dig a little deeper and find out what that niggle is? 

There’s no simple answer as it can take some exploration but, on some level, you already know the answer.  Here’s a few suggestions to help you listen in to that whisper:

  • Be quiet: Spend time in silence.  We’re so busy doing that often we lose connection to who we are being.  By slowing down you’re allowing the time and space to tune into yourself, your inner knowing.  Try guided meditation, or mindfulness or simply listening to some relaxing music with your attention on your breathing.
  • Free-flow: Flow of consciousness writing is a great way to connect to your intuition.  Grab a journal, a pen and some quiet space and just allow your pen to write whatever comes to mind.  No censoring just let it come out.  Don’t be tempted to second-guess or correct what you write, or even to question if it makes sense, just keep going.  Let it be an outlet for any of the thoughts in your head or any of the emotions you may be feeling.  Once you clear past the clutter you’ll then find that you get deeper-level insights.  By doing this regularly, you’ll get into the practice of connecting with your true self and you’ll be surprised at the insights you’ll get from this.
  • Get support: Like a blind spot when you’re driving, sometimes you just can’t see it yourself.  You may need someone to ask you the right questions to get to the answers that are already there.  Your thought patterns and beliefs are hard-wired and there to protect you.  Often a niggle can be a need for something to change so your brain goes into protection mode.  By having someone else guide you, you get a different perspective and can ‘see round’ old patterns of being and behaving that have kept you stuck.
  • Follow your yes: Any opportunity that comes your way, say yes (well, within reason!).  Don’t think and question – if it feels right, go for it.  Experiment, play, have fun.  Follow your bliss 
  • Accept the help: I created the FREE Clarity Session workshop to help feelings just like this.  If you haven’t yet accessed this mini workshop I gifted to you, you can access it here. 

I’d love to hear from you.  Share your behind-the-scenes story, the more ironic/funny, the better.  When have you posted a photo on social media when things weren’t quite so rosy in reality? 

read more

How to Impress... And Do Yourself Proud

05 19 2016

That question:  “So, tell me, what are your strengths?”

Why asking that one question can increase confidence, reduce stress and help you perform better.  Fact. 

Interviews, pitches, any experience when you’re sat across from an interview panel – not anyone’s favourite experience I’d imagine, especially when the stakes are high.  You do your homework on the company and the role/opportunity, you get your most stylish outfit ready and you prepare for those unknown interview questions.  One that often comes up is the standard “what are your strengths?”.

What would be your answer?

Maybe you have a stock response on this.  Maybe you (ahem) ‘cherry-pick’ the strengths you think the interviewer wants to hear to match you to the role or opportunity in question. 

If you did have a mental list of things pop to mind, great.  But stop a moment and ask ‘how true do those list of strengths feel to the real you?’.

You see, outside of situations like this, it’s not a question that is asked often.  And it’s even rarer that we ask if of ourselves.

But, knowing your true strengths, talents and value is golden and here’s why.

When you are clear on the value you offer you will perform better in any situation. 

Have you been in that situation where the pressure is on: a job interview, a first date with someone you really like, meeting someone influential in your industry.  You’re trying so hard to impress that your mind races with the right thing to say and when something comes out you think “why on earth did I say that?”  You’re in your head and all the time not bringing your best you to the table.

But studies have shown that when you know and affirm your strengths and the values most important to you ahead of any significant situation, your body chemistry works with you (rather than kicking in that fight/flight response that often sabotages your efforts) and so you are able to be more present.  More you.

Test it out.  Think of an event/situation coming up this week where you want to do yourself proud.  Decide to test it out yourself.

–       In advance, write down the attributes you’re most proud of e.g. I’m funny / patient / driven / intelligent.  They don’t have to be attributes relevant to the situation/event, just the ones that feel most authentically you.

–       Write down what people come to you for help/advice on.

–       Add to the list the things that you value you most about you/your life.  E.g. I most value my family / friends / my body / helping others.  Write next to each of these why they are important to you.  What emerges will be your core values.

–       Right before your event, read and feel the words you’ve written.  Remind yourself of you at your best.  Remind yourself of the values most important to you.  Watch your posture change.  See a different perspective on the event ahead. 

–       Then reflect.  Often stressful situations leave you lost for words, later finding the perfect thing to say but just that little bit too late.  When you’re at your best, you’ll find you do yourself proud more often.  Reflect on what went well. 

Give it a try and share your experience with us in the comments below.  Now, go forth and sparkle!

To your best week yet, Emma x

read more

Spend a Fiver, Change Your Life

03 24 2016

Have you ever been wandering around a clothes shop and spotted something for someone else, thinking “that is so her“?  Something about a simple item of clothing represents somebody’s style or character and what you believe about them.  

The same process happens on a deeper level in your head and about you.  What you believe about yourself will impact your choices – ultimately sending your life in one direction or another, often at 180° angle to each other.  

In my first Livestream (so please excuse the novice techie issues at start and end!), I share why this happens and how a £5 investment can be the first step towards a life-changer.

And then I’d love to hear from you.  What will you stick on YOUR mirror?  (Share a selfie on my Facebook page if you’re feeling brave!!)

read more

Featured on Design Sponge: How to use an identity change to find success

04 01 2014

Today I’m featured on Design Sponge’s Biz Ladies series talking about how to switch your identity to find success…

In this post I share:

– My geeky childhood fascination with powerhouse women

– Why taking the leap into entrepreneurship is just the first scary leap

– Five tactics to see you through the next big leap

You can read the full post on Design Sponge’s Biz Ladies series HERE

Image source: {1}

read more

Nesting for business and a baby... with a success mindset

03 02 2014

Our house has been upside down this past week.  We’ve been emptying and decorating our spare room to make room for our new little arrival in April. The teeny baby clothes are out of storage, washed and ready for their new home. All the kit and caboodle a newborn needs has been ordered.  Nesting season has officially started.  There are 7 weeks to go and I’m getting prepared.

Among the chaos, I realised something. We’re making room in our home and our lives for something we want to happen – welcoming the new addition to our family.  We’ve got total belief that, this springtime, we’ll be a family of four.  That belief has created action in the form of a big, pre-baby to-do list for me (and mostly for my husband).

Where in your life could you do with a bit more belief?  Where should you be ‘nesting’?

Think of a goal or vision you have for your career or business.  Do you believe 100% that you WILL make it happen, that you will bring that goal into the world?  And are you ‘nesting’ for it?  Imagine when you want to have achieved this goal.  If you knew it would absolutely be a reality on that date, would you be ready for it?  If it arrived into the world a little early – like today or tomorrow – would you be ready for it?

I realised I’d been ‘putting off’ a few things in my own business as I was waiting until I’d got ‘there’, achieved my big goal.  What my little nesting frenzy taught me is that, by waiting, I was keeping that goal just out of reach.  If, instead, I had total and utter belief that it will happen I’d be doing a few things differently.  When I asked myself “if I’d achieved this goal today, would I be ready?” I couldn’t honestly answer yes.  I needed to get my house in order.  I needed to ‘nest’ for my business.

So, over to you.  Think about your goal.  Imagine it’s here now, wrapped up in a big, red bow, ready for you to start living it – are you ready?  What actions can you take now to demonstrate your total belief that it will happen?  Share with us what 1-3 actions you will take to ‘nest’ for your goal in the Comments below.

p.s. Isn’t this little set of Matroyshka dolls cute?  I found it here

Image: {1}

read more

My one big learning from running a business… so far

02 16 2014

I worked in the corporate world for eleven years.  It was all I’d known of my professional life, except for a short spell of freelancing.  I was part of a team, I was managed, I was a manager.  My working life was shared with people.

Fast-forward to this evening.  I’m sat at my desk in my home office, just me and my laptop and a cup of tea.  Were it not for the company of Jake Bugg playing in the background, you could hear a pin drop.

I like to work this way.  Actually, I LOVE it.  I can spend hours happily ‘in the zone’, as my hubby calls it.  I do my best work this way.  But, it has its pitfalls and there was one biggie holding me back.

This past week I ran my first live webinar, The 4 Secrets of Successful Working Mummies.  I’d had this on my plan since last October – four months ago!! – but I kept putting it off.  It was new and daunting and well out of my comfort zone so it got shunted down the priority list, week after week.  As I mentioned recently, I’ve been working with a business coach and, during my coaching session on the 14th January, I committed to hosting the webinar less than a month later.  And guess what?  I made it happen.  And guess what else?  It wasn’t close to being as nerve-wracking as I thought.  I actually enjoyed it. 

As I treated myself to a bubble bath later that evening, I reflected on how the webinar had gone and asked myself what had stopped me doing it sooner.  The simple answer was fear.  I was worried about what people would think.  I knew my content inside and out.  I was confident that I was sharing great value with people BUT I had no-one to reassure me.  I realised that I missed the input that I would have had if I’d been part of a team.  A senior manager to make suggestions and revisions.  Peers to encourage and motivate.  And the simple truth is I was putting off facing into these fears because I could.

It’s not the first time in my career I’ve done something that pushed my limits.  In fact, it doesn’t compare to some of the fear-inducing situations I’ve faced BUT I couldn’t shy away before.  It was my job, my responsibility and I was accountable.  Bingo!  The light went off: I hadn’t been holding myself accountable.

I looked at the other non-movers on my to-do list and recognised the same pattern.  If something was new territory or a little bit scary, I was avoiding it.  With no senior bod to report to, I was letting myself avoid things.  

Decision time.  I realised I had a choice.  I could scratch the ‘scary’ things from my plans completely OR I could face them head on and see where they lead me, personally and professionally.  If you know me at all, there was no decision to be made… I’m all about overcoming the mental blocks and hurdles to design a life and business that sparkles.  So, watch this space.  In the words of the song, from now on every day I’m hustlin’

Now it’s your turn.  What are you putting off?  I’d love for you to share in the comments below what one thing you’ve been avoiding and why… AND what action you can take to make it happen. 

P.S. Don’t you just LOVE this mug by Ashley Brooke Designs in the picture?  I think I need to treat myself to this little beaut as a daily reminder…

read more