purpose

category: Design a life that sparkles, Uncategorized

Video: How To Create Your Blissful Life

07 31 2014

If you ever find yourself looking at someone else’s life and wondering “how did she do it?”, STOP.  Not only is it a waste of your precious energy but, my lovely, it suggests that it’s not for you.  The truth is it is for you too.  You can create whatever it is you desire.  Not with the wave of a magic wand but with clarity and persistence and with the support of mentors and loved ones.  Don’t believe me?


This week I hosted a FREE hangout: The #1 Step You Need To Take To Finally Start Creating Your Blissful Life.  You can catch the recording HERE.

And to help you on your way, I’ve created a free worksheet for you to download to begin forming your blissful life action plan.  You can download it here

I’d love to hear from you.  Once you’ve “burned your bridges”, tell me what blissful life you are committed to creating, by when and what is the first step you will take.  Share with me in the comments below.

COMING SOON: If you’re interested in working with me, I’m going to be opening up a handful of spots for my new VIP programme, the Luxe Intensive.  It’s not yet released but you can find out more HERE.

 

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It's Time To Stop Fixing Your Flaws

07 18 2014

Can you remember some of the compliments you’ve been given lately?  Now, how about the times you’ve been criticised? Can you remember those?

If you’re anything like me (and apparently a fifth of the female population²), you brush over the praise but dwell on any ‘constructive criticism’.  I can still bring to mind ‘feedback’ I was given in annual appraisals at work about how I could be “more assertive”, “more challenging” and “louder”. In short, not me. I spent way too long focusing on how I could do better without stopping to question it.

But I see it more clearly now.  

You have two options. One, you can focus on improving your ‘flaws’ – those ways you or someone else has decided you could be better.  Or, two, you can focus on fulfilling your beautiful potential – your inner sparkle as I like to call it.

Option one asks you to try to mould yourself into something you’re not.  Option two asks you to be you in all your brilliance.

I look back now at that annual ‘feedback’ I was given and, with the benefit of hindsight, wonder why I didn’t just embrace my limitations rather than allow it to distract me.  I’m not saying I would have given up trying – I always want to be learning and I took huge pride in doing the best job I could – BUT I wonder why I didn’t fight my own corner and find ways I could break the mould and shine in my own way.  Maybe because I wasn’t challenging enough, hey!

It makes me all the more passionate about getting women to recognise their potential.  It’s not about living up to someone else’s rules, it’s about creating your own.  

What does being the very best version of you look like?  How can you be more ‘you’?  

My challenge this week is to follow your inner north star.  How can you shake  off some of the things you feel you should be or do, and be more of you instead.  I’d love for you to share with me how you get on.

Sources: {1} {2} {3}

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The 2 Big Reasons Why You Should Stop Wishing For a Better Life

07 15 2014

Have you ever tried dropping a few subtle gift hints in the lead-up to your birthday or Christmas?  You mention the amazing pair of shoes you tried on or the designer perfume you spritzed and fell in love with.  Now tell me, do the subtle hints work for you?  Or, have you ended up unwrapping a pasta-maker when what you really had your eye on was a soft-as-butter leather purse? (True story.)

When it comes to making your desires a reality, subtle hints just won’t cut it.  You’ve got to know what you want and then be crystal clear in asking for it.

So, you say you want more time.  You want a better balance.  You’d like more time for yourself.  Well, if so, I’m sorry to break it to you but the chances are you might just end up with a pasta maker.  It’s time to get clear on what you really want.

If you want more time, why?  What will more time give you?  What’s really important to you about having more time? Or more money? Or a better balance? Or whatever your surface level wish is.  

Dig a little deeper and you start to get to your core desire/s.

If you were granted your wish of more money, your bank account has just been credited, what would this mean to you?  Would it mean you could quit your job? And then what? Spend time with your family?  Start your own business?  What is the motivation and the core desire that sits beneath your wish.  

Maybe you truly desire love and connection and more money would mean more time to spend with the people you love.

Or quitting your job and starting your own business would give you a sense of achievement and fulfilment.

Or maybe more money means more freedom so you can choose the lifestyle you want to create.  You can travel.  You can choose work you love.

Give it a try.  Think of what you keep wishing for.  Identify your “if… then…” stories.  For example, if I had more time, then I’d be happier/less stressed.  It will probably be a thought that loops around your head frequently.  

Once you’ve pinpointed it, get digging.  Ask yourself, why do I want that?  Keep going until you get to an emotion, then you’ve struck gold.  Most often, you’ll feel like the word resonates, it will feel right.

stop wishingAnd here are two reasons why its super-important to be clear on your core desires and not just your surface level wishes

1. Your core desires are your compass.  When you live in ‘alignment’ to the things you desire the most, things will flow more easily.  If they’re not, then things start to feel a bit ‘off’, they feel more of a struggle.  In a nutshell, you can consciously make choices and decisions to live in a way that suits you and what you value most.

2. There may be ways in which you can bring your desire about in your life right now.  So, if you wish for more money, a lottery win might be unlikely.  BUT, if the reason you wish for a windfall is because your core desire is to feel peace or calm, you can find ways today to create that feeling in your life.  Maybe a quick walk after dinner in the evening would feel calming.  Or a bubble bath.  Or maybe meditation might bring you a feeling of peace.  

Living your desires might just be a little closer than you think.

So, over to you.  I’d love to hear what your wish is and what you’ve identified as your core desire then one simple way you could create that feeling today.

Image source: {1} {2}

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Are you role-modelling the way for your family?

04 13 2014

A love letter…

Last week I shared a little gift with The Glitterati – call it a little pre-baby-inspired token of my gratitude  to each and every unique individual that shares this community.  I offered the opportunity to put forward a ‘middle of the night’ question that my lovely Glitterati were looking for insight, support or guidance on.  The emails I received touched and inspired me, as well as illuminated some common threads and challenges.

It’s been on my mind since… I am totally in awe of what many of you achieve day-to-day, as well as the bigger aspirations you hold dear.  If I imagine each of your individual dreams being realised on a collective scale… wow.  Each individual ripple could cause such an impact.

And this has become my middle of the night thought… how can I help more of you to awaken to and live your inner sparkle? How can I best encourage you to nurture your dreams as well as your family?  You see, here’s the rub: I see too many nurturers putting their dreams on hold because they want to give their best to their loved ones.  

Nurturers give selflessly of their love, their time and their energy so, at the end of the day, there’s little left over.  But here’s my rally cry: I want to encourage you to nurture your dreams because of your family.  In being the real you, the 100% genuine article, you teach and inspire your children to be the same.  You become the poster girl for designing a life that sparkles.  You teach your loved ones not to settle, not to compromise on their heart’s calling.  You set the example.

I know all too well that responsibilities and obligations take over.  Paying the bills, keeping the home running smoothly, making the day-to-day happen, it all requires your attention and a dose of reality.  But I ask that, even if it’s the simplest gesture, each day includes some small step in the direction of your biggest, boldest you.  Make living your sparkle a daily habit…

I’d love to hear what small, daily action you can take to step into your sparkle.  Share in the Comments below…

Image source: {1}

 

 

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New mum anxiety: one year on

02 09 2014

Let me give it to you straight.

I’m a lucky girl. I have a beautiful family. I’m doing work that I LOVE. My life is full of special people who support and encourage me. I know I’m blessed.

BUT…

Even with so much to be thankful for, this time last year was a low-point.

I’d quietly been struggling with new mum anxiety since Louis’ birth, unable to share with the happy mums I was meeting, and I’d isolated myself. I was negotiating a part-time return to my pre-maternity corporate role while my confidence was at rock-bottom. I felt removed from the true me. I motored through the routine of my day-to-day and had little interest in doing anything more.

My passion is encouraging women to discover and LIVE their sparkle… yet, my own sparkle was waning.

It turns out I wasn’t alone.

I needed role models. I needed mentors to look up to. I was looking for examples of women who’d made the adjustment into motherhood yet still had an identity that was authentic to them… Their sparkle.

I decided to extend an invitation to women I admired – I asked them to share their secrets, their tips and their honest accounts of the challenges they face.  I was inspired.

I began to share some of these inspiring accounts in my Secrets of my Success series.  And I have other gems lined up for this year.  The more I shared my story with women and, in return, they shared with me, the more I realised that there were common threads. Common challenges. Common worries. Common traits of success.

So I decided to put together a free “class” where I’ll be sharing The 4 Secrets of Successful Working Mummies.

If you’d like to learn the 4 “success sappers” to avoid, as well as the success traits of these women, click HERE to register for your spot.

The details:

Tuesday 11th February @ 7.30pm GMT

RESERVE MY SPOT NOW

 

Image: {1}

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Re-discovering my inner sparkle: part one

03 19 2013

What is the thing that makes you light up? Feel alive? What is it at your core that is uniquely you – your ‘inner sparkle’ as I call it?

It took a fair bit of soul-searching and course correction over my working life, but I got clear on what makes me feel alight: nurturing people to awaken to their unique potential. Of that I have no question, but as I mentioned last week, I’m being ‘nudged’ into taking a new direction for this.  And I promised to listen to the nudges.

I’ve been giving myself the time and space to re-connect to my inner sparkle.  This week I’m refreshing an exercise I’ve done before by taking a trip down memory lane… And exposing my inner geek!

If you need to remember what it’s like to live your inner sparkle, spend some time with a child.  One minute it’s pure joy, the next temper tantrums.  I adore the pure self-expression!  If you can reconnect with that childlike part of yourself, can you remember the things that brought you joy? What did you love to do? What were you good at? What are you doing in your happiest memories?

I’ve been reflecting a little on these questions myself and memories started flowing of my childlike self:

  • The typical girl, I loved my dolls! One Christmas I became the proud “mummy” to twins and spent my play-time proudly wheeling the twins around in my green Silver Cross double pram.  I moved onwards and upwards to become ‘mummy’ to a baby boy (a Tiny Tears doll named Stefan). I remember being at school and counting down the hours until I could get home to care of baby Stefan.  I’d change him, give him bottles of water (testing the temperature on my wrist, of course!), and feed him baby food (aka: crushed digestive biscuits with water). I was devoted.
  • Not quite so typical was my love of playing businesses with my sister and my friend, Sally. We raided the local agent’s summer sun brochures when we set up our own Travel Agency, we ran an Estate Agency and, my favourite, we managed a hotel.  Santa brought us all a briefcase one year and we’d proudly walk to each others house to play at our latest enterprise carrying our briefcases – empty apart for a pencil and jotter.  
  • I remember staying at my friend Joanna’s house regularly on Friday evenings after our swimming lesson and her parents allowed us to watch Dynasty.  I was mesmerised by the glamour of it all – the clothes, the offices, the power.  It was my first insight into strong, power-dressing business women and I was smitten.  
  • My love of words started early.  I can still feel the pride when my teacher Mrs Edgington praised my spelling and reading ability.  I remember a supply teacher reading fiction to us and being so caught up in the imaginary world of Mrs Frisby & The Rats of NIMH. I must have idled away hours with my head in books.  And then my love turned to playing with words, expressing them in my own way through the joy of writing.
  • The new school year was magical to me because it marked the time for new stationery.  Oh, how I loved starting a new notebook, using my new pen and my ‘best handwriting’ to begin.  I was a perfectionist at backing my school books, ironing out the bubbles with my new, shatterproof ruler.  And don’t get me started on the fun of picking files, dividers and plastic wallets. I loved the freshness, the neatness, how organised everything looked.

 

I took some time to reflect on these memories and started to look for the threads that run through to my adulthood.  What is it about these times that brought me joy or when I felt at such ease that reflect the authentic me, my inner sparkle?  

The twins and Stefan: Front and centre for me is being a nurturer.  I love to look after people and this shows up in so many ways – from the biggies such as trying to be a good mummy, wife, daughter, sister and friend, to the simple pleasures of enjoying being the hostess.  It’s also true of the work that I’m most passionate about – nurturing people to awaken to, and live, their potential.

Playing businesses: Not quite your average childhood role play but it’s a big indicator to a passion I have to this day – I admire entrepreneurship.  I completely respect people that have the courage and gumption to go out there on their own.  I am fascinated in finding out how people “got there” and love to peek behind the curtain of small, creative enterprises.

The glamour of Dynasty:  A bit of an extension of my interest in entrepreneurship but it’s women in business that gets me interested.  But not just anyone – while I admire women who have made their way up the corporate ladder, those that earn my respect are the ones who have made it as their own boss.  A big value for me is freedom and I look up to women who have the freedom to create work on their terms, NOT by towing the line of a corporate vision.  And, of course, being Dynasty, the glamour had massive appeal!  The clothes, the artfully manicured nails, the lifestyle!

Word play: This one is simple.  I love to write.  It feels natural.  It brings me joy.  It gives me a rare sense of pride.  I love to be creative and writing is just one expression of that.

Stationery geek:  Well, I still get giddy about fresh, new notebooks and I love a ‘nice writer’ (pen), so my love affair with stationery lives on.  But there’s a little more to it.  I love to organise and the nurturer in me likes to help others to do the same.  This can be as simple as the gesture of treating someone to something that I know will make their life easier, to helping someone organise the mental chaos they feel when facing a problem or striving for a goal, by calmly helping them to break it down into manageable chunks.  

 

My inner sparkle, even in those early years, is all about nurturing, the courage of entrepreneurship, glamour, freedom, a passion for writing, and a keen-ness for problem solving and organisation.

 

I’d love to hear from you in the Comments below: 

What were the things that you loved to do as a child?

What were you naturally good at?

Can you see these traits and values living out in your ‘grown up’ life?

 

Next week, I’m going to be taking this a little further in looking at role models.

Image: one

 

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What to do when you’re doubting the next step (aka my current predicament)

03 12 2013

As I sit here writing this, I’m tasting a little of my own medicine.

I’m on unsettled ground but this time I recognise it. I’ve been here before. Something feels a little… off. Something isn’t sitting quite right with my world. I’m striving for authenticity and something feels not quite ‘me’.

And I don’t know the answer.

(Gasp.)

This, my friend, is uncomfortable. You know I’m a perfectionist. My inner Type A wants everything to be just right before even thinking about taking the first step. Let alone, be stepping out there and then getting a dose of the wobbles.

But this is my year for changing my perfectionist ways. As they say, if you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always got. I’ve ignored these whispers before and paid the price.

This is the year that I’m accepting that I’m NOT the finished article. I’m a work in progress and I don’t have all the answers. And, actually, maybe some of the fun is in NOT having the answers and finding out as I go.

I know where my heart lies. It lies right here, with you. It lies in that ‘aha moment’ when the penny drops for someone. It lies in putting my fingers to the keyboard and writing. It lies in seeing someone recognise their beautiful potential, when their world moves in rhythm with their effort. It’s lies in my faith that if I can make just one person see their brilliance, I’m fulfilled.

But there’s a BUT.

My heart and my mind are wanting to take all of this in a different direction. And I know I must listen. It’s never failed me before. But the truth is I don’t know quite what that direction is. And that has me on a cliff-edge (and I’m not keen on heights)!

This week, for me, is all about listening. Listen to the whispers. (Click to tweet). I am finding quiet and the time to nourish myself, to listen. Only then will I start to understand where these ‘nudges’ are directing me. And when I finally get the message, I’ll be right back here to share with you.

I’d love to hear from you…

Have you ever been ‘nudged’ in a different direction when you thought you had everything mapped out?

Did you listen?

Where did it take you?

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It could be YOU...

03 05 2013

I’m sat here, writing, and thinking of you.  Yes, YOU!

I made a promise to myself earlier this year.  I committed to putting my words, my voice, out there through my blog every week without fail. 

But that’s only half the story.  You are the other half.

It’s the why behind that promise that’s more important to me. 

I want to help.  I want to be a trusty friend that is your biggest cheerleader, your number one supporter.  You have a unique brilliance and I want you to realise it.  And live it.

And so, I can keep my promise by showing up each and every week but I’m here thinking about how I can best help YOU. 

How can I best show up FOR YOU each week?  What can I best help you with?  What do you want to hear about?  And when do you want to hear from me? 

I’d love to hear how I can offer most value to you by answering a couple of quick questions in the Comments below.  It should take no more than a minute of your time yet I promise it will be returned to you ten-fold!

Post your answers to these questions in the Comments below:

–       What is your biggest worry or fear?

–       What do you most desire to create in your life?

–       When is the best time for you to receive/read an email/blog that interests you? (Which day of the week?  What time of day?)

–       Is there anything else I should know?  How can I most help?

Source: Salon Simis on Pinterest

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