Here it is. The love letter. Heart on sleeve, holding breath…
You are truly special. I know that to be true. You have a unique magic inside of you, a sparkle that is just yours – no other person in the world has exactly the same elixir of talents and experience and personality and gifts as you. You are one of a kind. And that special combination has something to offer everybody else. When you shine your unique sparkle, others can feel it. Other people want to be around it. You inspire other people to shine bright too. Accept it. Claim it. Show it off!! It’s been gifted to you for a reason. Don’t let it grow dim. Dust it off. Make today the day that shining becomes your role – it’s the kindest thing that you can do for you and everyone that knows and loves you.
Read it. Read it again and feel it.
I feel a tad uncomfortable wearing my heart on my sleeve but this is what I believe for you. It’s my belief that every, single person has something special to share and I feel that, in my heart, I want to help people to hear it and come to feel it…. And ultimately to live it. And here’s the best part – you role model the way for other people (especially the little people).
The reason I’m uncomfortable? I fear I may sound … rose-tinted.
But I know for any number of people that think maybe it’s a little idealistic, there may be one other person that needs to hear this and remember it. Because deep down you know this, right? You are my people.
When you were a little girl you may have been told you were special and precious. Maybe you weren’t told that but, whether you heard it or not, it was true nonetheless. And, it’s still true now you’re a grown-up. It never stops being true. It’s just sometimes we forget it…. Or don’t let ourselves believe it. It feels uncomfortable to truly be you.
(And here we come back full circle to me feeling jittery sharing this).
But I’m feeling the fear and writing it anyway. My reason is I feel I can help. I’ve been unofficially learning for almost twenty years now, and have officially equipped myself with training and skills over the past 5 years to move people from fuzziness and overwhelm to clarity and direction so that they can shine.
Now I’m now opening up a limited number of spots for the summer for my Luxe Intensive sessions – these are private, 1:1 coaching days to help you to get clarity of your unique value, gifts and inner sparkleso that you can de-clutter, re-focus and consciously design your future.
Here’s how it works:
Within the Luxe Intensive programme you will get:
- Private 1:1 coaching and my signature treatment tailor-made to suit your personal needs and requirements.
- A preparation pack in advance of the Luxe Intensive to elicit ‘spotlight’ areas for our session.
- A personalized feedback report to summarise your Luxe Intensive session.
- A 45-minute ‘Completion Call’ within one month of the Luxe Intensive session to create accountability, review and future focus.
What we’ll cover:
Our time is 100% focused on you. You will get access to my personal toolkit and the session will be uniquely tailored to you and your transformation. It can include:
Getting absolute clarity on what you really want.
Understanding your unique value, your gifts and how to use your inner sparkle to design life on your terms.
Decluttering the doubts, fears and beliefs that are keeping you stuck.
Crafting an inspired action plan.
Defining your signature style and unlocking your true identity.
This complete package is £250.
What you can expect:
You’ll have a ‘temperature check’ of how things are working for you right now. You’ll get clear on the things creating ‘mental clutter’ in your life, as well as the patterns that have been holding you back. You’ll craft a clear vision and blueprint for your future, the key ingredient for designing a life on your terms. You’ll create an action plan so you begin creating your future in a way that feels authentic and achievable, and have a rhythm for continuing this once our work is finished. You’ll feel energized and confident about the future. You’ll have fun!
I am offering a limited number of spaces throughout the summer. If you feel this is a YES for you, click HERE to book your complimentary call.
p.s. I’ll be sharing a bit more about this whole thing via Facebook Live this week. Make sure you’re in the group to take part – I’ll be doing a Q&A as part of this.
“Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle” – Plato
Appearances can be deceptive. What looks glossy on the outside might be very different when you take a closer look.
Social media has got to be a prime example of this. Someone’s newsfeed is a highlights reel of their life but maybe not the truest reflection. You might be like me – posting pictures of the magical moments with your kiddiwinks when everyone is fed, happy and absorbed in play…. You’ll find the meltdowns and dinner-time battles on the virtual-cutting-room floor!
Just think for a moment: maybe your life looks picture perfect to someone else?
How does that make you feel? If you’re content and at a point of bliss, you’re likely to feel proud and grateful. Positive.
If, on the other hand, you know that what your life looks like isn’t true of what it feels like, then you may feel a bit of discomfort. Guilty? A bit of a fraud?
Life can look good but you might still be craving something more. And that’s ok. It’s just a whisper from your intuition that is nudging you to explore it. It’s like an itch you need to scratch.
You can have what many people desire and still want more. Not in a greedy way, but in a way that means a part of you is looking to express itself, or to be more fulfilled in some way.
Feeling guilty about that or trying to ignore it isn’t the answer. It’s there and it’s simply a message to do something about it.
So, how can you dig a little deeper and find out what that niggle is?
There’s no simple answer as it can take some exploration but, on some level, you already know the answer. Here’s a few suggestions to help you listen in to that whisper:
- Be quiet: Spend time in silence. We’re so busy doing that often we lose connection to who we are being. By slowing down you’re allowing the time and space to tune into yourself, your inner knowing. Try guided meditation, or mindfulness or simply listening to some relaxing music with your attention on your breathing.
- Free-flow: Flow of consciousness writing is a great way to connect to your intuition. Grab a journal, a pen and some quiet space and just allow your pen to write whatever comes to mind. No censoring just let it come out. Don’t be tempted to second-guess or correct what you write, or even to question if it makes sense, just keep going. Let it be an outlet for any of the thoughts in your head or any of the emotions you may be feeling. Once you clear past the clutter you’ll then find that you get deeper-level insights. By doing this regularly, you’ll get into the practice of connecting with your true self and you’ll be surprised at the insights you’ll get from this.
- Get support: Like a blind spot when you’re driving, sometimes you just can’t see it yourself. You may need someone to ask you the right questions to get to the answers that are already there. Your thought patterns and beliefs are hard-wired and there to protect you. Often a niggle can be a need for something to change so your brain goes into protection mode. By having someone else guide you, you get a different perspective and can ‘see round’ old patterns of being and behaving that have kept you stuck.
- Follow your yes: Any opportunity that comes your way, say yes (well, within reason!). Don’t think and question – if it feels right, go for it. Experiment, play, have fun. Follow your bliss
- Accept the help: I created the FREE Clarity Session workshop to help feelings just like this. If you haven’t yet accessed this mini workshop I gifted to you, you can access it here.
I’d love to hear from you. Share your behind-the-scenes story, the more ironic/funny, the better. When have you posted a photo on social media when things weren’t quite so rosy in reality?
Social etiquette lesson courtesy of movie favourite, Bridget Jones’ Diary: “Introduce people with thoughtful details…”
In Bridget’s case, her introduction was “(she) works in a publishing house and she used to play around naked in (Mark’s) paddling pool.”
How would someone describe you? Can you think of a recent occasion where someone’s introduced you? What did they say? And how did it make you feel?
If you have a job, or you’re a mum, chances are you get introduced by your role. These days I often get “this is Louis’/Joe’s mum”.
But how much do you think this introduces YOU?
As adults we get badged by our roles: someone’s wife/partner, mum, professional status. And let’s be truthful, the person on the receiving end will probably make some snap judgement about who you are based on what they hear. How true is it though?
Before marriage, babies, career, you were still YOU, right?
I LOVE seeing little children make new friends. They say their name full of importance and that’s it. No pre-conceived ideas, no badges of honour. Just, this is me.
If you were to strip away all the roles and titles, how would you love to be introduced? What words would truly describe the real you?
Many of the women I work with have forgotten, at least on a conscious level. Somewhere, underneath the layers of responsibility, she’s still that young girl with that unique sparkle… but sometimes it just needs a little dusting off.
So, get your duster out and start to polish-up your cocktail line.
– What is your special talent? What do people come to your for help/advice on?
– What can you do with ease?
– What do you do that, when you do it, time flies?
– What lights you up?
– What have been some of your happiest moments?
– What do you stand for?
Free-flow with a pen and paper. Write down anything and everything that comes up. Start to reveal the words, the feelings, the uniqueness that makes you you. Don’t censor. Start with “I’m (your name) and this is me….” Read it aloud and see how you feel now.
Tingles? Tears? A stirring? If so, bingo, you’ve scratched the surface.
I’d love to hear from you. What came up for you?
When you’re sat in the hairdresser’s chair, do you ever wonder who styles the stylist’s hair? Or who is your dentist’s dentist? I do. You see, I imagine they’d be happier in their own hands, knowing what standard to expect.
The same goes for a pilot. As a nervous flier, I’d be a little less anxious if I knew the pilot had logged plenty of flight time and way more likely to bolt for the door if it was a maiden flight.
It comes down to trust. You have to truly believe in that person’s skill, ability and practice in what they’re going to do for you.
So, I look at you and I question…… do I believe in you?
Ladies, I have it on authority that the vast majority of you are putting yourself WAY down your own list of priorities and that makes a liar out of you.
Before you click unsubscribe, hear me out.
Take a look at your list of priorities this week just gone, whether that’s written down or in your head. What roles did you play? Wife/partner, mum, daughter, employee/business owner, domestic boss? Any more? And where did YOU feature? What did you do for yourself?
Many of the women I coach forget themselves or, at best, use what’s left over once everything else has been tended to. They’re driven by a desire to love and nurture the people in their life, and to excel.
And this is the lie. You need to learn your trade – to be your own best customer. To nurture other people, you have to nurture yourself. To love the people you care for most, you have to love you. To give your best professionally, you have to nourish yourself. Trying to give of yourself while you’re running on empty is pretense.
I’ve learned from experience. In a year that saw achievement and success in many ways, I ended 2015 frazzled. Depleted. And here’s the rub, when I did take a little time to be a bit more selfish two amazing things happened:
- I felt better. Obvious, right? But because I felt better I was being better as a mum, wife, coach etc. The yucky knot in my stomach (tinged with a little bit of resentment – honest moment!) was replaced with renewed energy.
- My little ones noticed. I liked hearing them say, “mummy’s going to yoga” and “mummy’s not here” when I’d been away on a development course. I want them to do the things that light them up, pursue their passions, so how can I teach that if I’m putting my own desires and passions on the back-burner.
It’s still a work in progress (I’M still a work in progress!). I still juggle the mummy guilt when it’s me-time. But I’m trying to look at it more as an investment.
So today, when you’re expected to show someone else your love, be sure that you gift yourself with a little love and nurturing too. Trust me, the better you feel, the more of the good stuff you’ll have to give.
I’d love to hear from you. Do you have a self-care practice? Or if you don’t what one thing might you do for yourself this week?
If you ever find yourself looking at someone else’s life and wondering “how did she do it?”, STOP. Not only is it a waste of your precious energy but, my lovely, it suggests that it’s not for you. The truth is it is for you too. You can create whatever it is you desire. Not with the wave of a magic wand but with clarity and persistence and with the support of mentors and loved ones. Don’t believe me?
This week I hosted a FREE hangout: The #1 Step You Need To Take To Finally Start Creating Your Blissful Life. You can catch the recording HERE.
I’d love to hear from you. Once you’ve “burned your bridges”, tell me what blissful life you are committed to creating, by when and what is the first step you will take. Share with me in the comments below.
COMING SOON: If you’re interested in working with me, I’m going to be opening up a handful of spots for my new VIP programme, the Luxe Intensive. It’s not yet released but you can find out more HERE.
Have you ever caught yourself looking at someone else’s life and thinking “I wonder how she did it?”
How did she manage to create a life where she spends quality time with her children every day?
How did she start from zero and create a successful business that she loves?
How does she manage to travel with such a young family?
Where does she find the time to exercise and keep herself in good shape?
Whatever you’ve been green-eyed about, there is one simple secret that these women know…
In my free hangout, I’m going to be sharing:
- The simple idea that your role model knows – whether she’s the girl next door or an internationally-famous success – and that you can apply from TODAY
- How to get your game-face on to start making your blissful life a reality
- How you can turn an average day into a day that counts
Ready to know more? Reserve your spot now.
Can you remember some of the compliments you’ve been given lately? Now, how about the times you’ve been criticised? Can you remember those?
If you’re anything like me (and apparently a fifth of the female population²), you brush over the praise but dwell on any ‘constructive criticism’. I can still bring to mind ‘feedback’ I was given in annual appraisals at work about how I could be “more assertive”, “more challenging” and “louder”. In short, not me. I spent way too long focusing on how I could do better without stopping to question it.
But I see it more clearly now.
You have two options. One, you can focus on improving your ‘flaws’ – those ways you or someone else has decided you could be better. Or, two, you can focus on fulfilling your beautiful potential – your inner sparkle as I like to call it.
Option one asks you to try to mould yourself into something you’re not. Option two asks you to be you in all your brilliance.
I look back now at that annual ‘feedback’ I was given and, with the benefit of hindsight, wonder why I didn’t just embrace my limitations rather than allow it to distract me. I’m not saying I would have given up trying – I always want to be learning and I took huge pride in doing the best job I could – BUT I wonder why I didn’t fight my own corner and find ways I could break the mould and shine in my own way. Maybe because I wasn’t challenging enough, hey!
It makes me all the more passionate about getting women to recognise their potential. It’s not about living up to someone else’s rules, it’s about creating your own.
What does being the very best version of you look like? How can you be more ‘you’?
My challenge this week is to follow your inner north star. How can you shake off some of the things you feel you should be or do, and be more of you instead. I’d love for you to share with me how you get on.
Have you ever tried dropping a few subtle gift hints in the lead-up to your birthday or Christmas? You mention the amazing pair of shoes you tried on or the designer perfume you spritzed and fell in love with. Now tell me, do the subtle hints work for you? Or, have you ended up unwrapping a pasta-maker when what you really had your eye on was a soft-as-butter leather purse? (True story.)
When it comes to making your desires a reality, subtle hints just won’t cut it. You’ve got to know what you want and then be crystal clear in asking for it.
So, you say you want more time. You want a better balance. You’d like more time for yourself. Well, if so, I’m sorry to break it to you but the chances are you might just end up with a pasta maker. It’s time to get clear on what you really want.
If you want more time, why? What will more time give you? What’s really important to you about having more time? Or more money? Or a better balance? Or whatever your surface level wish is.
Dig a little deeper and you start to get to your core desire/s.
If you were granted your wish of more money, your bank account has just been credited, what would this mean to you? Would it mean you could quit your job? And then what? Spend time with your family? Start your own business? What is the motivation and the core desire that sits beneath your wish.
Maybe you truly desire love and connection and more money would mean more time to spend with the people you love.
Or quitting your job and starting your own business would give you a sense of achievement and fulfilment.
Or maybe more money means more freedom so you can choose the lifestyle you want to create. You can travel. You can choose work you love.
Give it a try. Think of what you keep wishing for. Identify your “if… then…” stories. For example, if I had more time, then I’d be happier/less stressed. It will probably be a thought that loops around your head frequently.
Once you’ve pinpointed it, get digging. Ask yourself, why do I want that? Keep going until you get to an emotion, then you’ve struck gold. Most often, you’ll feel like the word resonates, it will feel right.
And here are two reasons why its super-important to be clear on your core desires and not just your surface level wishes
1. Your core desires are your compass. When you live in ‘alignment’ to the things you desire the most, things will flow more easily. If they’re not, then things start to feel a bit ‘off’, they feel more of a struggle. In a nutshell, you can consciously make choices and decisions to live in a way that suits you and what you value most.
2. There may be ways in which you can bring your desire about in your life right now. So, if you wish for more money, a lottery win might be unlikely. BUT, if the reason you wish for a windfall is because your core desire is to feel peace or calm, you can find ways today to create that feeling in your life. Maybe a quick walk after dinner in the evening would feel calming. Or a bubble bath. Or maybe meditation might bring you a feeling of peace.
Living your desires might just be a little closer than you think.
So, over to you. I’d love to hear what your wish is and what you’ve identified as your core desire then one simple way you could create that feeling today.
It’s a first today as the Secrets of my Success interview with Alison Perry is my first video interview…
Alison is a magazine editor and writes the award-winning NotAnotherMummyBlog.com. As well as being the driving force behind a magazine, she’s also featured in magazines herself such as Grazia and Mother & Baby, she has appeared on Lorraine’s sofa and she’s been a guest speaker at Mumsnet bloggers conference. AND, last but by no means least, she is mummy to a gorgeous 3-year old daugher.
- What inspired her to start her own blog
- How she manages the juggle of having a professional career, a blog and a 3-year old daughter
- How she is motivated by ‘moments of gratification’ rather than big goals
- An introduction to “phubbing”
- What she believes is the secret to her success
Now it’s over to you. What opportunities can you say YES to today? Share with us in the Comments below…