What More Do You Want? 5 Tips For The Girl Who Has It "All"

06 09 2016

Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle” – Plato

Appearances can be deceptive.  What looks glossy on the outside might be very different when you take a closer look.

Social media has got to be a prime example of this.  Someone’s newsfeed is a highlights reel of their life but maybe not the truest reflection.  You might be like me – posting pictures of the magical moments with your kiddiwinks when everyone is fed, happy and absorbed in play…. You’ll find the meltdowns and dinner-time battles on the virtual-cutting-room floor! 

Just think for a moment: maybe your life looks picture perfect to someone else?

How does that make you feel?  If you’re content and at a point of bliss, you’re likely to feel proud and grateful.  Positive.

If, on the other hand, you know that what your life looks like isn’t true of what it feels like, then you may feel a bit of discomfort.  Guilty?  A bit of a fraud?

Life can look good but you might still be craving something more.  And that’s ok.  It’s just a whisper from your intuition that is nudging you to explore it.  It’s like an itch you need to scratch.

You can have what many people desire and still want more.  Not in a greedy way, but in a way that means a part of you is looking to express itself, or to be more fulfilled in some way.

Feeling guilty about that or trying to ignore it isn’t the answer.  It’s there and it’s simply a message to do something about it. 

So, how can you dig a little deeper and find out what that niggle is? 

There’s no simple answer as it can take some exploration but, on some level, you already know the answer.  Here’s a few suggestions to help you listen in to that whisper:

  • Be quiet: Spend time in silence.  We’re so busy doing that often we lose connection to who we are being.  By slowing down you’re allowing the time and space to tune into yourself, your inner knowing.  Try guided meditation, or mindfulness or simply listening to some relaxing music with your attention on your breathing.
  • Free-flow: Flow of consciousness writing is a great way to connect to your intuition.  Grab a journal, a pen and some quiet space and just allow your pen to write whatever comes to mind.  No censoring just let it come out.  Don’t be tempted to second-guess or correct what you write, or even to question if it makes sense, just keep going.  Let it be an outlet for any of the thoughts in your head or any of the emotions you may be feeling.  Once you clear past the clutter you’ll then find that you get deeper-level insights.  By doing this regularly, you’ll get into the practice of connecting with your true self and you’ll be surprised at the insights you’ll get from this.
  • Get support: Like a blind spot when you’re driving, sometimes you just can’t see it yourself.  You may need someone to ask you the right questions to get to the answers that are already there.  Your thought patterns and beliefs are hard-wired and there to protect you.  Often a niggle can be a need for something to change so your brain goes into protection mode.  By having someone else guide you, you get a different perspective and can ‘see round’ old patterns of being and behaving that have kept you stuck.
  • Follow your yes: Any opportunity that comes your way, say yes (well, within reason!).  Don’t think and question – if it feels right, go for it.  Experiment, play, have fun.  Follow your bliss 
  • Accept the help: I created the FREE Clarity Session workshop to help feelings just like this.  If you haven’t yet accessed this mini workshop I gifted to you, you can access it here. 

I’d love to hear from you.  Share your behind-the-scenes story, the more ironic/funny, the better.  When have you posted a photo on social media when things weren’t quite so rosy in reality? 

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Exciting Announcement: Free Mini Workshop for Clarity

06 06 2016
“It’s not meant to be like this.”
“Well, Em, it just is….”
Ouch. This tough love conversation is one I can remember like it was yesterday.  It was the run-up to our wedding but my mind was elsewhere.  
From the outside, things looked pretty good.  I had the job, the apartment, the social life, I was the bride-to-be….I should have felt on top of the world.  But I was in pain.  I had a permanent knot in my stomach – if I try I can feel it now.  It was a knot of stress and panic, feeling trapped, and I was lost.  My health was taking the brunt of it. (A night in A&E for heart palpitations was the low-point.)
knew I needed to make a change.  Not only was my health affected but, outside of work, I couldn’t enjoy my ‘free’ time because I felt like I had a cloud hanging over me.  
The real problem was I couldn’t see how to make a change.
So why the trip down memory lane, you might ask?
I share because, if you feel like any of this is true for you, if you feel lost or wonder who am i? or feel unclear on what you actually want, then I can relate.  And the good news is, I’m here to nudge you forward.
Just imagine feeling crystal clear on who you are and what you want.  Imagine waking with a feeling of purpose.  Imagine feeling excited about the future rather than dread.
Imagine it and believe it.  It’s there waiting for you 
And I want to help begin the awakening for you.  I’ve created a FREE mini-workshopThe Clarity Session – Four Steps To Awaken Your Level 10 Life
My gift to you is a mini-workshop that includes a ‘playbook’ where you can journal your thoughts and reflections on some clarity-creating questions, along with a guided meditation you can download and listen to as often as you want/need.
What do you need to do?
  • Click on the link to claim your spot.  You’ll then have access to a short video guide, a step-by-step playbook and a guided meditation, with my heartfelt compliments. 
  • Plan some ‘you time’.  Set aside 60-90 minutes where you can have some quiet, uninterrupted time just for you – to invest into your vision for your future. 
And when you’re done, let me know – I’d love to hear from you.  Comment below with your biggest insight or commitment to yourself.
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Do You Do What it Says On The Tin? How to (begin to) craft your cocktail line.

05 23 2016

Social etiquette lesson courtesy of movie favourite, Bridget Jones’ Diary: “Introduce people with thoughtful details…”

In Bridget’s case, her introduction was “(she) works in a publishing house and she used to play around naked in (Mark’s) paddling pool.”

How would someone describe you?  Can you think of a recent occasion where someone’s introduced you?  What did they say?  And how did it make you feel?

If you have a job, or you’re a mum, chances are you get introduced by your role.  These days I often get “this is Louis’/Joe’s mum”. 

But how much do you think this introduces YOU?

As adults we get badged by our roles: someone’s wife/partner, mum, professional status.  And let’s be truthful, the person on the receiving end will probably make some snap judgement about who you are based on what they hear.   How true is it though?

Before marriage, babies, career, you were still YOU, right?

I LOVE seeing little children make new friends.  They say their name full of importance and that’s it.  No pre-conceived ideas, no badges of honour.  Just, this is me.

If you were to strip away all the roles and titles, how would you love to be introduced?  What words would truly describe the real you? 

Many of the women I work with have forgotten, at least on a conscious level.  Somewhere, underneath the layers of responsibility, she’s still that young girl with that unique sparkle… but sometimes it just needs a little dusting off.

So, get your duster out and start to polish-up your cocktail line.

–       What is your special talent?  What do people come to your for help/advice on?

–       What can you do with ease?

–       What do you do that, when you do it, time flies?

–       What lights you up?

–       What have been some of your happiest moments?

–       What do you stand for?

Free-flow with a pen and paper.  Write down anything and everything that comes up.  Start to reveal the words, the feelings, the uniqueness that makes you you.  Don’t censor.  Start with “I’m (your name) and this is me….”  Read it aloud and see how you feel now.

Tingles?  Tears?  A stirring?  If so, bingo, you’ve scratched the surface.

I’d love to hear from you.  What came up for you?

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How to Impress... And Do Yourself Proud

05 19 2016

That question:  “So, tell me, what are your strengths?”

Why asking that one question can increase confidence, reduce stress and help you perform better.  Fact. 

Interviews, pitches, any experience when you’re sat across from an interview panel – not anyone’s favourite experience I’d imagine, especially when the stakes are high.  You do your homework on the company and the role/opportunity, you get your most stylish outfit ready and you prepare for those unknown interview questions.  One that often comes up is the standard “what are your strengths?”.

What would be your answer?

Maybe you have a stock response on this.  Maybe you (ahem) ‘cherry-pick’ the strengths you think the interviewer wants to hear to match you to the role or opportunity in question. 

If you did have a mental list of things pop to mind, great.  But stop a moment and ask ‘how true do those list of strengths feel to the real you?’.

You see, outside of situations like this, it’s not a question that is asked often.  And it’s even rarer that we ask if of ourselves.

But, knowing your true strengths, talents and value is golden and here’s why.

When you are clear on the value you offer you will perform better in any situation. 

Have you been in that situation where the pressure is on: a job interview, a first date with someone you really like, meeting someone influential in your industry.  You’re trying so hard to impress that your mind races with the right thing to say and when something comes out you think “why on earth did I say that?”  You’re in your head and all the time not bringing your best you to the table.

But studies have shown that when you know and affirm your strengths and the values most important to you ahead of any significant situation, your body chemistry works with you (rather than kicking in that fight/flight response that often sabotages your efforts) and so you are able to be more present.  More you.

Test it out.  Think of an event/situation coming up this week where you want to do yourself proud.  Decide to test it out yourself.

–       In advance, write down the attributes you’re most proud of e.g. I’m funny / patient / driven / intelligent.  They don’t have to be attributes relevant to the situation/event, just the ones that feel most authentically you.

–       Write down what people come to you for help/advice on.

–       Add to the list the things that you value you most about you/your life.  E.g. I most value my family / friends / my body / helping others.  Write next to each of these why they are important to you.  What emerges will be your core values.

–       Right before your event, read and feel the words you’ve written.  Remind yourself of you at your best.  Remind yourself of the values most important to you.  Watch your posture change.  See a different perspective on the event ahead. 

–       Then reflect.  Often stressful situations leave you lost for words, later finding the perfect thing to say but just that little bit too late.  When you’re at your best, you’ll find you do yourself proud more often.  Reflect on what went well. 

Give it a try and share your experience with us in the comments below.  Now, go forth and sparkle!

To your best week yet, Emma x

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Spend a Fiver, Change Your Life

03 24 2016

Have you ever been wandering around a clothes shop and spotted something for someone else, thinking “that is so her“?  Something about a simple item of clothing represents somebody’s style or character and what you believe about them.  

The same process happens on a deeper level in your head and about you.  What you believe about yourself will impact your choices – ultimately sending your life in one direction or another, often at 180° angle to each other.  

In my first Livestream (so please excuse the novice techie issues at start and end!), I share why this happens and how a £5 investment can be the first step towards a life-changer.

And then I’d love to hear from you.  What will you stick on YOUR mirror?  (Share a selfie on my Facebook page if you’re feeling brave!!)

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You Great Big (Valentine's) Liar!

02 14 2016

When you’re sat in the hairdresser’s chair, do you ever wonder who styles the stylist’s hair?  Or who is your dentist’s dentist?  I do.  You see, I imagine they’d be happier in their own hands, knowing what standard to expect.

The same goes for a pilot.  As a nervous flier, I’d be a little less anxious if I knew the pilot had logged plenty of flight time and way more likely to bolt for the door if it was a maiden flight.

It comes down to trust.  You have to truly believe in that person’s skill, ability and practice in what they’re going to do for you.

So, I look at you and I question…… do I believe in you? 

Ladies, I have it on authority that the vast majority of you are putting yourself WAY down your own list of priorities and that makes a liar out of you. 

Before you click unsubscribe, hear me out.

Love lies2

Take a look at your list of priorities this week just gone, whether that’s written down or in your head.  What roles did you play?  Wife/partner, mum, daughter, employee/business owner, domestic boss?  Any more?  And where did YOU feature?  What did you do for yourself?

Many of the women I coach forget themselves or, at best, use what’s left over once everything else has been tended to.  They’re driven by a desire to love and nurture the people in their life, and to excel.

And this is the lie.  You need to learn your trade – to be your own best customer.  To nurture other people, you have to nurture yourself.  To love the people you care for most, you have to love you.  To give your best professionally, you have to nourish yourself.  Trying to give of yourself while you’re running on empty is pretense.

I’ve learned from experience.  In a year that saw achievement and success in many ways, I ended 2015 frazzled.  Depleted.  And here’s the rub, when I did take a little time to be a bit more selfish two amazing things happened:

  1. I felt better.  Obvious, right?  But because I felt better I was being better as a mum, wife, coach etc.  The yucky knot in my stomach (tinged with a little bit of resentment – honest moment!) was replaced with renewed energy.
  2. My little ones noticed.  I liked hearing them say, “mummy’s going to yoga” and “mummy’s not here” when I’d been away on a development course.  I want them to do the things that light them up, pursue their passions, so how can I teach that if I’m putting my own desires and passions on the back-burner.

It’s still a work in progress (I’M still a work in progress!).  I still juggle the mummy guilt when it’s me-time.  But I’m trying to look at it more as an investment.

So today, when you’re expected to show someone else your love, be sure that you gift yourself with a little love and nurturing too.  Trust me, the better you feel, the more of the good stuff you’ll have to give.

I’d love to hear from you.  Do you have a self-care practice?  Or if you don’t what one thing might you do for yourself this week?

Images {1} {2} {3}

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category: Design a business that sparkles, Design a life that sparkles, Uncategorized

Get your FREE 2015 goal planner

01 09 2015

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The Secret To Making Your Dreams Happen Faster... And How To Do It

10 09 2014

Have you ever been flicking through the pages or a magazine or browsing online and your eye has been drawn to a gorgeous image?  Attention grabbed, you’re practically drooling over what looks like your dream home, or an exotic location you want to visit, or the studio of someone running your dream business.  Does this sound familiar?

Next time that happens, when an image you see of someone else’s reality that evokes a yearning for your own dream, take a moment.  Think about what it is about that particular image that speaks to you and sparks a desire in you.  What does it tell you about what you dream of for your own life?  

Go a step further and clip the page out of the magazine or print a copy if it’s online.  It’s one for your vision board.

I’m a big fan of vision boards.  I started creating my own vision boards when I wanted to bring my new year goals to life.  Instead of just writing my goals down, I wanted to have a constant reminder of the things I wanted to create in my life and my first vision board was born.  I’ve been making them each year since.

It’s not just me.  Vision boards are proven to be effective in giving your brain auto-suggestions of what you want to achieve.  And here’s why.  There’s truth in the saying “a picture speaks a thousand words”.  As you’ll have experienced when that glossy magazine image gave you a pang of desire or ambition or, maybe, jealousy, we attach an emotional meaning to an image.  It’s not just an image of a beautiful living kitchen – it’s a suggestion of a calmer and more ‘together’ lifestyle.  It’s not just an image of a poolside cocktail – it’s a suggestion of wealth and success and living the high life.  And when you give your brain the suggestion of what you want, it obediently begins to work towards creating it.

Imagine you had a collection of images that stirred up some feeling of excitement and desire and hope and determination.  And imagine looking at those images as you begin your day – don’t you think you’d approach your day with a different mindset?  Would you act differently?  How likely will you be to make your goals happen if you had a tantalising visual reminder everyday?

There’s still time to check off some of your new year goals before the end of 2014.  

  • Bring your big goal to mind.  Let your mind wander and imagine yourself living it now.  And take note of how you feel in this scenario and what you see around.  If you could ‘bottle’ it, how would you describe what life is like in your dream life?  That is the feeling you want to capture on your vision board.
  • Start gathering images, words or quotes that represents that desire and captures the feeling, experiences and things that you yearn for.  At first, gather anything that speaks to you.
  • There is beauty in simplicity so, once you have your collection of words and images, be selective in choosing which ones you want to represent the ideal future you want to create.  Then get creative: paste your curation onto a foam board or pin board or large sheet of paper.
  • Here’s the last but most important step.  Place it somewhere you’ll see it daily and take time to look at it so that you connect with the feeling that your vision board represents.

Now I’d love to hear from you.  What’s the goal you would like to represent on your vision board?  Share the ‘story’ of your dream life with your goal achieved.

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2014 Was The Year That Was....?

09 18 2014

Fast forward the remaining 100-ish days of the year and think about how you’d like to reflect on 2014.  It was the year that was….?  Are you on track to making that happen?

With my vision for the year, so far I’ve won some and lost some.  I’ve pushed my comfort zone, I’ve faced some fears, I’ve made some leaps and taken risks… and I’ve also missed opportunities, played it safe and let anxiety get the better of me at times.  I’ve still got a way to go to hit my big goal for the year but I’m up for the challenge and I’ve got my game face on.

It would be so easy to give up, resign myself to failing or make excuses.  Yes, life has been super-busy with a newborn and a toddler to care for, income to create and, oh yes, making time to live life too but, if my turbulent twenties taught me anything, it’s that I’ve got a choice.  I go for it or I don’t. No knight in shining armour is going to rescue me.  It’s up to me.

There’s a but.  I can’t do it all on my own.  If I’ve learned anything the hard way this year it’s been that trying to do it all myself is a surefire way to a frazzled Emma.  So if I want to make 2014 the year that I achieved my goal, it’s time for me to politely ask for a hand.

Determination – check.  Support – check.

Over to you.  Tell me, 2014 was the year that you…..? And what’s the one thing you need to do to get a step closer?

Image source: {1

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Are you due an upgrade?

08 10 2014

I’ve been due a little me-time and somehow I managed to wangle a full weekend of it – a leisurely appointment to get my hair done, a little shopping and a date with my sister-in-law-to-be for a fizzy afternoon tea.  It was a weekend of getting dressed up, taken care of and – for the most part – remaining baby-puke free!

Being a little bit fancy always puts a spring in my step but, I think, having a bumper weekend of it felt like a real treat.  And it doesn’t have to be much… Small ways of showing yourself some tlc can have huge benefits in how you feel about yourself.  

An upgrade here and there can create a chain reaction of feel-good.

Think about your own experience.  Think of an occasion where you’ve treated yourself? It might be something simple like getting a pedicure or a VIP upgrade like flying first class.  Whatever it is, how did that gesture make you feel about yourself?  Often it’s more significant than simply admiring your pretty pinkies or the extra leg-room.  That pedicure makes you feel more chic and put-together and so more confident and that, in turn, puts you in the right frame of mind to get the guy / shine in your annual appraisal / secure the promotion.

In what area of your life do you feel like you’re due a bit of an upgrade?  Choose one area – maybe your career, your relationship, your wellbeing where you are willing to place more value on yourself.  What action could you take to upgrade how you feel about yourself in that area?  How can you invest in yourself?

I’d love to hear from you.  Let me know what your upgrade is and, once you’ve done it, share with me the ripple of feel-good it created.

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