2016 February

You Great Big (Valentine's) Liar!

02 14 2016

When you’re sat in the hairdresser’s chair, do you ever wonder who styles the stylist’s hair?  Or who is your dentist’s dentist?  I do.  You see, I imagine they’d be happier in their own hands, knowing what standard to expect.

The same goes for a pilot.  As a nervous flier, I’d be a little less anxious if I knew the pilot had logged plenty of flight time and way more likely to bolt for the door if it was a maiden flight.

It comes down to trust.  You have to truly believe in that person’s skill, ability and practice in what they’re going to do for you.

So, I look at you and I question…… do I believe in you? 

Ladies, I have it on authority that the vast majority of you are putting yourself WAY down your own list of priorities and that makes a liar out of you. 

Before you click unsubscribe, hear me out.

Love lies2

Take a look at your list of priorities this week just gone, whether that’s written down or in your head.  What roles did you play?  Wife/partner, mum, daughter, employee/business owner, domestic boss?  Any more?  And where did YOU feature?  What did you do for yourself?

Many of the women I coach forget themselves or, at best, use what’s left over once everything else has been tended to.  They’re driven by a desire to love and nurture the people in their life, and to excel.

And this is the lie.  You need to learn your trade – to be your own best customer.  To nurture other people, you have to nurture yourself.  To love the people you care for most, you have to love you.  To give your best professionally, you have to nourish yourself.  Trying to give of yourself while you’re running on empty is pretense.

I’ve learned from experience.  In a year that saw achievement and success in many ways, I ended 2015 frazzled.  Depleted.  And here’s the rub, when I did take a little time to be a bit more selfish two amazing things happened:

  1. I felt better.  Obvious, right?  But because I felt better I was being better as a mum, wife, coach etc.  The yucky knot in my stomach (tinged with a little bit of resentment – honest moment!) was replaced with renewed energy.
  2. My little ones noticed.  I liked hearing them say, “mummy’s going to yoga” and “mummy’s not here” when I’d been away on a development course.  I want them to do the things that light them up, pursue their passions, so how can I teach that if I’m putting my own desires and passions on the back-burner.

It’s still a work in progress (I’M still a work in progress!).  I still juggle the mummy guilt when it’s me-time.  But I’m trying to look at it more as an investment.

So today, when you’re expected to show someone else your love, be sure that you gift yourself with a little love and nurturing too.  Trust me, the better you feel, the more of the good stuff you’ll have to give.

I’d love to hear from you.  Do you have a self-care practice?  Or if you don’t what one thing might you do for yourself this week?

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